Well, I’ve decided to go, even with all the hurdles. For once in my life I need to finish what I’ve started. So I’m going across country to try to start a new life. I am suppose to leave in 2 days and have so much to do on my list. Today I literally thought I might have a heart attack from the stress and pressure. I just know that one day I will look back on this and think how awesome it was that I pushed through all this pain and got to this great spot. Its just hard seeing that light in the tunnel when its pitch black. I don’t have anyone to talk to. Thank God for my friend Shelia, she is about a year into her divorce experiment/experience, so she is starting to feel better, as if there is an end. She is the one who can understand what I am going through. I think I might seek out some support groups when I arrive to my new destination.

well no matter what I thought on this journey, 1 year in the making (as far as planning goes) and 3 days before I am suppose to leave it all just falls apart. My mother backed out on all of her committments. Everyone who for all these years has said they would be there for me, is not! I though when someone gave you their word, it meant something. Clearly that is not the case. ASo now where? My house is packed, stuff is put in the storage unit. I have told my child what exactly was going to happen, and now none of it is. I am left with out a place to stay, and o support system. How am I suppose to do this. I feel crushed and defeated. How do you pick up and go on? Where do you go on to?